Happy Giftmas!

Giftmas is only 2 days away!   Giftmas occurs on the fourth Saturday of December, except if that date is the 25th, in which case Giftmas defaults to the third Saturday of December.  A palm tree is decorated and brightly colored lights are hung around the house.  On Giftmas morning presents are exchanged between family members while tropical music plays in the back ground, leis are worn (along with Hawaiian patterned shirts), and fruity drinks are enjoyed with little umbrellas (alcohol optional, but encouraged!).

Giftmas decorations!

The Giftmas Palm Tree lit up!

HAPPY GIFTMAS EVERYONE!!

And Happy Holidays to those who celebrate something else!



Mmmm drugs are good, prescription that is....

I've never been one to like drugs, prescription, over the counter, or "other"....but I must confess that the prescriptions I'm on now are fantastic.  No headaches for a week now and I'm feeling less stressed and clearheaded. 
I still haven't managed to get up when the alarm goes off, the first time, and I feel quite defeated by this challenge.  It's probably the easiest thing on my 30 list and it has yet to be crossed off.  But this is what happens every morning, regardless of when I set my alarm:

And it doesn't matter if it's on vibrate, a crappy song, an annoying beep, or a kick ass song....every morning my sleepy personality trumps my motivation personality.  I've even tried cheating on the weekends and setting it for 9...but still the snooze button gets hit.  Why not get rid of the snooze button you ask?  Well, I've tried that.  I used to have it set up to where I didn't have a snooze option and I had to solve 2 math problems to turn the damn thing off.  And what did my sleepy personality, who I will now refer to as Sleepy Sandy, do?  Wakes up enough to solve the math problems, dismiss the alarm, and reset the alarm for a later time....SERIOUSLY.  I have to boot Sleepy Sandy out of my bed.  I blame her for me not getting up early enough to work out.  She's the reason I'm always in a rush to do everything in the morning, and barely have time to log on to facebook before going to work.  Sometimes Sleepy Sandy makes me go to bed early before I shower and she tells me that "Oh yea we will get up early and take a shower in the morning"....and then the morning comes and Sleepy Sandy hits the Snooze and then I have to rush through my shower and then I have to miss out on reading people's posts on facebook about going to bed or getting up.  Damn you Sleepy Sandy.  Damn you. 

Headaches....life is Amazing without them

Last week I had a headache.  No big deal right?  Pop some pills, drink some water, go about your day.  But this particular headache started on Monday, November 21st and lasted until Monday, November 28th.  Seven days of head throbbing, pill popping, laying in bed pain. By Wednesday night I was in tears yelling at my pillow to please give me relief.  But that damn pillow didn't do ANYTHING.  Nor did the numerous amount of times I took various headache medicine.  Nothing touched it.  On Thanksgiving I'm not sure what pill I took but it gave me a little relief and I was able to make it through family dinner. 

What should a normal person do when they have a headache for several days?  Go to the doctor is probably your answer.  On Wednesday morning when the husband suggested I go to the doctor my first thought was that it would probably cost $6,000 with that amazing insurance we have.....I was ready to go to the doctor by Wednesday night but my doctor isn't open on Thanksgiving, nor the day after (we should really just make Thanksgiving a 2 day holiday and be done with it).  So my plan was to suffer through the weekend and call on Monday.  So suffer through the weekend I did.  Sleeping mainly.  I took a bath on Sunday night and put my head under water which helped.  On Monday morning I called the doctor and got in for a same day appointment (apparently they were concerned about a week long headache as well).  The doctor had me do some coordination tests (I imagine to make sure I didn't have a tumor [my doctor is very high tech]) and squeezed my head a few times and checked my eyeballs and ears and blood pressure.  He said he thinks I have a tension headache and then gave me two prescriptions and told me to get the hell out of there (OK so maybe he didn't say it exactly like that but you get the idea)

So after the doc I went to Walgreen's to get my scripts (that's street lingo for prescriptions).  One pill is for me to take every 6 hours "to break the headache cycle" (doctor quote) and then the other is an anti depressant to take before bed (apparently I'm mentally unbalanced and have been for some time which explains SO much). 

I thought the one I took right away would be magical and the horrible headache would disappear.....so I went back to work (like a dumb ass).  In the 3 hours that remained of my day at work I believe I was able to scan 3 documents and place 1 order.  It was not good.  I left to pick up the child and then went home and laid down and awaited my untimely death.  But death did not come.  I woke up and fell asleep throughout the evening, getting up to use the bathroom and eat something.  I asked the husband to make the pain stop, but he didn't know how.  I took my bedtime pills and went to bed. 


GLORIOUS TUESDAY MORNING  

What a beautiful morning Tuesday was!  I woke up without the dreaded headache.  I felt like I could do anything!  I should have tried juggling or running a marathon or juggling while running a marathon!  I went to work and accomplished things!  My mind was clear and I could once again alphabetize and balance my checkbook.  And this is when I had my epiphany.  Before the headache week I felt very blah and non-motivated to do stuff.  I went through my days mostly on auto-pilot putting in the necessary time at work, making dinner without any thought, half-ass cleaning the house....But now, with a clear head and the knowledge of how difficult it is to do simple things with a week long headache, I am changing. 

So the next time you don't feel like doing some mundane task pretend someone is punching you in the head repeatedly while you try to do it. 

3 days without the headache have come and gone and tomorrow I vow to cross an item off the 30 list....GET UP WHEN THE ALARM GOES OFF, THE FIRST TIME.  I know what you're thinking- it's been over a month and you haven't DONE THAT?  Geez.  See, auto-pilot.  But that list is about to become my bitch. 

Check #27 off the list!

Last night Shawn (the hubby) and I watched Paranormal Activity 2....in the dark....with NO COVERS!!  Afterwards I had to watch something funny to be able to go to sleep and put on a special by Daniel Tosh.  I had some wicked dreams and when Shawn left for work this morning at 7:45 I couldn't go back to sleep in the house by myself so I got up...at 7:50...on a Saturday....when I didn't have to. 

But the point is only 29 more to go!!  And now I never have to watch another scary movie without covers again!

31 weeks until I turn 30....time for a classy classic goal list

MBA Graduation

I've never been one to focus on getting older.  I still get carded for rated R movies, alcohol, and sex toy stores.  Most recently I was mistaken as my younger friend's daughter...from a distance...and that lady was probably on some sort of drug...but still.  I blame these people:

My parents.  They are young looking people.  Guess how old they are in this picture taken a year ago.....well if you aren't related to me then you probably didn't guess they're in their mid50s.  It could just be me though, maybe I think they look the same because I'm just used to seeing them. 









But, I'm getting off topic. 

So, like the nerd I am, I calculated how many days and weeks are left until the big 3-0.  Fortunately these days there is this handy dandy thing called the internet and it's much faster than counting each day on a calander...

According to said internet, I have 31 weeks (221 days) until I turn 30.  I think a "30 things to accomplish by the time I turn 30 list" is in order.  That gives me 1 week to accomplish each item, plus a week for cushion (that's those MBA style math skills in action!)

Here is my list (in no particular order):

1.  Lose 40lbs.
2.  Tone my arms.
3.  Write a will.
4.  Skydive. (This will be after the writing of the will)
5.  Pay off $13,000 in debt.
6.  Start my tax preparation business, for reals.
7.  Buy Jenee an Awesome t-shirt.
8.  Stop drinking caffeine (I'm thinking this will be in week 29 or 30...)
9.  Go on a tour at the Syburus.
10. Find out what is made at Flutes, Inc.
11. Go on at least 1 romantic getaway weekend with the hubby.
12. Have my teeth whitened.
13. Read at least 1 book per month.
14. Bungee jump.
15. Clean out the gutters.
16. Turn sunroom into something useful (i.e. office for #6)
17. Get out of bed when the alarm goes off..the first time.
18. Buy a new wardrobe.
19. Go to the zoo with family.
20.  Be aggressive, be be agressive.
21.  Plan a cruise.
22. Go rock climbing.
23. Paintballing.
24. Be a vegetarian for 1 week.
25. Create an organized recylcling center in our house.
26. Go tanning.
27. Watch a scary movie without covers.
28.  Learn to speak and understand Spanish.
29. Participate in classy Wednesdays, every Wednesday. 
30.  Have a birthday bash with my friends at Howl @ the Moon on my birthday. 

You may be saying, "Hern, some of these goals are not S.M.A.R.T. goals, and since you have your MBA, shouldn't all of your goals be S.M.A.R.T.? 

My answer is no.  Some of these are just things I have never accomplished (getting out of bed when the alarm goes off, skydiving, go tanning) and some are just things I need to do but I've been too lazy (buy Jenee an awesome t-shirt, clean out the gutters).

The focus here is that there are 30 things to do and 31 weeks to do them.  You'll notice I didn't put "update blog everyday" or something similar because, well you know I wouldn't be able to cross that off my list.  But I will try to keep it updated with my accomplishments, even if it is just a one line blog:  Had my teeth whitened. 

I don't know how to end this post, so I will leave you with a picture of a 2 liter.

Holy Parenting Batman!

Yea, I stole it Jenee....


So I am a parent.  P-a-r-e-n-t....par-ent....pare-nt....now it doesn't even sound like a word. 

I've been a parent for nearly six years now and I'm here to tell you future parents that the up all night, changing diapers, feeding every 3 hours, poop everywhere stage is the easy part.  I've been told by non-parents that sometimes my stories scare them into not wanting to have children. I will give you a moment if you haven't had children to stop reading this.....now. 

Okay those of you still with me, great!  Being a parent certainly has its ups and downs.  You will be able to do things you never thought possible - I realized this the first time my son threw up on me and I calmly sat there instead of what I thought I would do, which is puke right back onto him.  I never thought I would touch poop, let alone be washing it out of underwear with my bare hands, unphased. 

Parenting is sneaky.  As soon as you think you know what you're doing, your kid moves on to the next phase in life.  My kid started kindergarten this year.  I thought we were so prepared- he knows his colors, his numbers, his name.  He can write and read small words.  I thought we were finally ahead of the game!  Nope.  Since the beginning of the school year he has had to call home twice for getting in trouble and last week he bit someone.  Biting?  I certainly didn't see that one coming.  It is not something I could have prevented-  I couldn't have said to him the day it happened, hey by the way don't bite anyone today.



That's when I realized the easy stuff is behind us.  And flashbacks of elementary school came rushing in.  And I have nothing to offer....I mean this is what I looked like in elementary school....

Elementary school was no picnic for this girl.  No one understood my sarcastic sense of humor or my quick quips at making fun of others.  I can look back and laugh at it now, knowing those experiences shaped me into who I am today. 

And now I feel I've completey veered off the topic of parenting.  So my point is that childhood is hard, parenting is hard, life is hard.  It doesn't get easier, it just keeps going....until one day it doesn't anymore...because you die.  No that's too morbid.  Life does get better.  You find a groove, you make friends, you get through the hard stuff, and you live to write a blog about it. 

That's better.  

Giant bugs at Goose Park...WATCH OUT!!

Today I had an "episode" at lunch.  My friends/co-workers (Marcel and Jenee, you've met them before) and I went to our normal lunch spot, Goose Park.  It's not officially named Goose Park, that's just what we named it because there is a pond and picnic tables and lots and lots of unfriendly geese.  And frankly it's easier to call it Goose Park than "that one place with the pond and the picnic tables and all those crazy ass geese".  ANYWAY....

We were enjoying chatting today after we had finished our food.  I had a microwave meal, Marcel had some form of stew, and I don't remember what Jenee ate, just that she had yogurt left over....

Marcel's eyes suddenly got very big and she said something like "HEATHER, THERE'S AN ENORMOUS BUG ON YOU!!!!"  To which I immediately panicked and looked at my shoulder and this is what the bug looked like to me:



I don't actually know if that's an accurate picture because I was screaming and spinning around in a frantic attempt to get the creature off of me.  It went from my shoulder to my hair and then I'm pretty sure I fell on the ground at some point.  By this time Jenee and Marcel are laughing hysterically while other park goers looked annoyed. 

Two things now concern me about Goose park-
1) Ginormous bugs
2) People heard me screaming, but chose to ignore it (strangers, not my friends who were laughing)

Goose park is still better than Creeper Park (that's at an actual park but people sit in their cars in the parking lot)....